Kari Speakfree

The kiddos hair

2011-12-03T11:39:00.001-08:00

I know it may seem silly to post a blog about a child's hair. But our kid is always an adventure.

Lets just say our kid's hair was getting out of control. It didn't matter what I did to his hair or didn't do to it, the hair had a mind of its own. Some days he was down right rocking the Flock of Seaguls doo and I wondered if my "I'm never cutting my kids hair" was going to continue to hold out.

So I decided a week before Thanksgiving to cut his hair. I figured since he will be seeing family that we hadn't seen for a while, I didn't want him looking like Rod Stewart. So I put my child under the "blade" the Sunday before Thanksgiving. And well, as the pictures show, you'd think I was carving into his skull.

It started off just fine...then I must have began torturing him with whips and razor baldes because he was not happy about his rock star image being chopped into pieces and thrown away.

In the end no ears were cut off and no scars were left. A little crooked, but the torture was over before he knew it.

SCROOGES and the world's diminishing love

2011-11-18T09:41:00.001-08:00

I feel I have to speak my mind about the world, about the horrific decline in love and kindness. Now, disclaimer, I cannot speak for the world, but only my perceptions, which may be apart of the problem as you will read on.

I wonder each day why I feel that there is less love and less caring nature. I notice day to day and especially in my line of work that people have their own agendas. These agendas typically do not necessarily fit nicely into the well being and camaraderie of anyone else around them, but they don't care. People think only for themselves, of themselves, and whatever betters themselves. It makes people evil. It causes people to overlook the simple things in life, such as family, friends, love, kindness, forgiveness, caring, sharing, and overall joy and happiness.

So, I asked myself, what causes people to be this way?

What is the reasoning for stepping on people and causing others to feel hurt or belittled?

I know there are many reasons and answers to this questions. But here is one thought.

I was reading some articles about social aspect of humans vs. social aspect of animals and this is what I found out.

In one article, social animals such gorillas, dolphins, orcas, and wolves, who have advanced social "organizations and relationships" all have one thing in common: "They rarely, if ever, 'go it alone'."

Because all these animals have packs or groups in which they socialize they have the instinctual nature to protect, to survive, to live. The wolf pack is an obvious show of a pack with hierarchy, one male and one female being "alpha". Hierarchy is a natural instinctual trait that is obviously seen with humans as well. Protecting, surviving and living is another story. Humans take protecting, surviving and living into a different level entirely.

Recently, I was enjoying a simple fictional quick read called The Letters, written by Luanne Rice and Joseph Monninger. There is a part in this book that talks about the human brain and the different parts of the brain and how it functions and what reactions stem from these particular parts of the brain. The brains frontal lobe is concerned with emotions, reasoning, and parts of speech. The parietal lobe is connected with the senses: touch, taste, etc. Supposedly, animals do not have much in the sense of "frontal lobes", but they do have strong parietal lobes. In other words, they can have emotions and thoughts about something, say love or hate, but they can't get it all "mixed up". It is black and white. They either love you or hate you, they either are scared or not. They do not question and reason why they are scared. They just know they are scared and they act on it based on a prior experience. End of story, no ifs - ands - or buts. Which brings me back to the book, The Letters. In it, they talk about how it would be nice to sometimes not have the worry and the emotions all wrapped up to cause such disarray. Wouldn't it be nice to love and love unconditionally or be sad and not worry about the "what ifs" and "but whys" and the "just maybes".

I bring all this up because it is this simple "animal nature" that humans are lacking. While our "frontal lobes" are growing and growing and we are getting smarter and smarter and our reasoning behind the "whys" and the "becauses" are becoming astounding. We rationalize everything. We find a reason why we do what we do and we can back it up with theories and proof and life. But what is happening is we are only becoming good debaters and forgetting how to live, how to love, how to simply be happy. Our world is becoming more of rationalized frivolous whipped up souffle as opposed to a grounded truthful meat and potatoes. Make sense. This is my theory. This is me rationalizing and conjuring up a position (as all of us do) on why the world is unloving.

Maybe a bit long winded, but in the end, I think my point is true. For example:

More than one company will tell its employees that it has to work the day after Christmas. Christmas being on Sunday this year and all and the Monday being its recognized Federal holiday. "Why not work? We are a business and we need employees and we need to make money to survive and that is why you work to survive and I don't care that it upsets you or if you believe in God." And so forth. The rationalizing begins. The agenda is met and the damage is done. In the meantime the rational and reasoning person behind it probably doesn't have any reason to stay home, perhaps their lives are unhappy. Perhaps all their life is, is work. So they begin to unravel other people lives, time away from family and friends and the true meaning of living starts to disappear.

To each Scrooge his own, but don't turn the world into a Scrooge, that's what I say. There are a few of us left here that do enjoy that simple animal-like black and white - the I simply want to love and to be happy and to live. To find the beauty and joy in the little things.

If everyone were to simply stop. Just stop for a few moments a day. Think of what they are thankful for, what they enjoy the most, and where the happiness comes from and to smile about this small thing. And then ALLOW others to feel this same emotion without persuasion, without rationalizing or mixing up the emotions. I truly feel that it would be a start in a new direction. A start for a new world. To love again. To trust again. That most-publicized illustrious "peace" that we all seek may start to come true. Sure there will be the "alphas" but if we don't like their ways we can always break pack.

First EVER Event. EVERYONE'S AN ARTIST.

2011-11-08T11:33:00.000-08:00

Kids just make you smile.

2011-10-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

Kids are the best. Every day there is a look, a stare, a smile, a laugh, a smirk, a jibberish ramble, a thought, an expression, a new move, a new idea and all these things and so much more combine for a lifetime of happiness in a single second. I find myself smiling more now then I ever used to, just because this kid of mine melts my heart to a pile of mush. I never thought I would love so truly and so deeply and so madly. (Plus he is just a doll and I could squish his cheekies until they fall off he is so cute - as every parent will say about their own :) )

Who am I? and other frivilous terms of discovery.

2011-10-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

I forgot how to be a person. You know, a normal eating, breathing, sleeping human being made of cells, tissues, organs and this thing called a brain, which I had completely forgot how to use the second I got out of college (see, I was really smart in college as are ALL college students). I forgot what it's like to be a person without titles, without duties, without responsibilities. Who am I these days?

This last week I have been sans child. And it went something like this:

(*crickets chirping*)

...

"Um, what do you want to do?"

... (*more chirping crickets*)

"Um, I don't know, what do you want to do?"

(*faucet dripping*)

...

"I guess lets go out"

"Okay, cool, where do you want to go?"

"I don't know"

...

Again the brain thing is gone, adios, arrive-derci, caio! It doesn't think for itself anymore. It thinks: wake up, play with kid, get ready, get kid ready, work, assist others with work, fix food, clean, play with kid, sleep, mommy, mommy, mommy, wife, sleep, food, go to store for more food, need sleep, and more work"

With the kiddo gone, it was QUIET. Q-U-I-E-T!!! I still filled the "wake up, work, and sleep" part of the above equation, but the rest was hovering somewhere between "huh" and "I don't know". Lets be crazy and young and stay out til wee hours, but how do you do this? I'd forgotten. Funny how after only a year and a half, I forgot what its like to be home without a kiddo. Needless to say, we just weren't home. Too wierd without him. The whole world was off kilter.

I was later to work then with a kid. I spent more money then if I had the kid. I was sleepier then with the kid. I didn't clean one thing in my house (NOR, mind you, pick up anything either). We ignored our dogs.

What the heck?

I never acted that way before I had a kid. And then it makes me wonder, who am I? I haven't the slightest clue. Perhaps I'm the All-Star Mommy or the Wonderful Wife or maybe I'm the Witty Worker. Or maybe I'm none of these. Maybe I'm Professor Plum in the Study with the Candlestick. I don't know. I think under a title every day and had forgotten how to think for just, well, you know...little ol' me.

But I do know that I am uber excited to see my baby again tonight. And then I can be whatever I want to be and he will just smile at me and give me his look of, Mom your crazy!

Yes, son, Thats me....CRAZY Kari. :)

Vancouver, BC

2011-09-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

I don't know how much I need to say about Vancouver. I think the pictures speak for themselves. It was the most amazingly beautiful city. Everywhere you turned there was another picturesque harbor with sail boats, house boats, beautiful backdrops, city parks, fountains, flowers, smiling faces, bicycles, you name it. It was an amazing experience and I am so glad we went on this trip. We literally walked until we couldn't possibly walk anymore. And no matter where we ended up, it was breathtaking.

Seattle

2011-09-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

What I will remember about my 2 days in Seattle:

1. The food.

2. The smell. It smelled floral and fresh, a very unique smell almost like clean laundry.

3. The hills! I was very suprised to find out just how "hilly" Seattle's downtown was. I remember walking down to the Public Market and thinking that somehow we missed it. Only, once we got to 1st (the last street before the waterfront) we were literally looking over the edge down to the market. I also remember having to walk back UP! :)

4. The food.

5. The shopping. There were so many fun shops and things to buy. If only I had more money to actually purchase the items.

6. The coffee shops. And why wouldn't I put that down? Doesn't everyone know that there are coffee shops at every corner in Seattle? Sometimes, more than one.

7. Did I mention the food was fantastic? Everywhere we went, we had amazing bites of goodness. The fish was unbelievable and the variety was plentiful.

8. Meeting up with my good friend, Shanna.

(There are OYSTERS in them shot glasses, come on, what were you thinking?)

Fog lays low

2011-09-15T15:27:00.000-07:00

As the fog lay low,
And the low seems to grow,
The blindness which I am caught, shakes me.

Names that are blamed,
And the blamed bringing shame,
The low seems to grow as the fog lay low.

Behind the walls that are built,
Behind the fence permitting guilt,
A resistance box seems to grow with the fog that lay low.

Humbling head bowed
To the glory around
And yet the fog seems to continue to grow

Through life's fierce pleasures
And despite these passionate measures
The low seems to grow as the fog lay low.

People stand bent and bruised
No mercy to old foundations used
The fog continues to grow and continues to stay low.

This world needs a new light
A true and blessed meaningful sight
To lift the fog that lays low and to rid the low, forbidding it to grow.

Crazy Cat.

2011-09-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

He killed that Dinosaur!

(Actually he just finds the darndest places to sleep and feel comfortable)

Arches, UT

2011-09-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

Arches. What can you say about this beautiful land? I was taken aback and still am when I look at the pictures. I remember feeling very "at ease" looking across the undeniably beautiful landscapes and colors.

The only issue we had was the HEAT. It said it was 114 in our car at one point. Not kidding. Do I believe the car thermometer? NO, it felt like it was 120 degrees! Because it was so hot, it made it hard to spend all day out and about walking along the trails. We utilized the morning times and late evenings. Like LATE evenings, thus the sunset pictures. Otherwise, we had to stay in the car to get the AC. Remember we were camping. We were in a tent, there was no escaping the heat. So we would go into Moab and eat some lunch grab some cold ones and cool the heck off. Luckily JT just slept in the car from one place to the next, so we didn't need to worry about naps.

In life there is beauty in all things, but when you look around within Arches Park, even the greatest cynic could not say that beauty, creation and natural wonderment were among us.

This arch was about a 5 minute walk from our camp. It was called Skyline Arch.

Shucking some corn!

Happy in the AC!

Long hike, but completely worth it! You are looking at Delicate Arch.

(I swear if you look close to the pic above you can see the lizard tracks!)

Palisade, CO

2011-09-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

Me and my husband recently returned this last week from Seattle and Vancouver adventure. However, I am so far behind on pictures, because we have been so busy, that I thought I would start with our adventures in August first. FIRST THINGS FIRST here people!

In the beginning of August, my little family of three and my parents went on an adventure to Moab and Arches, Utah. We made a pit stop for the night in Palisade, CO. (You know - where the peaches come from!) It is also known for the vineyards and its wonderful Colorado wine.

It was a beautiful little town. I really was quite suprised. It was hot and beautiful and friendly. Everyone smiled and waived and said "hello", or maybe it could have been that I was friendlier...since we were wine tasting at 10 a.m. Who knows?!

Here is some pics...

Camp site.

mmm, Palisade Peaches.

Note - I was off the side of the road taking pictures of these lovely peaches and a local farmer stopped by to see what I was doing. I said, well taking pictures of peaches of course and he said that he was "so over peaches". I could imagine since there is miles of peach trees and festivals about peaches and every place you go mentions, well, peaches. I think I would feel the same too.

Local Palisade winery. Plum Creek.

Off to Moab and the land of Arches.

Life is beauitful.

2011-08-29T15:55:00.000-07:00

If you don't believe me, go here (and read all about Mark and Becky's adoption process) and here (to see them bring the little man home).

There are times in life when amazing things happen and (even if you don't know the person) you cry because it is truly beautiful and emotional and every definition of happy that you could ever think of.

I am truly happy and yes I have cried at their expense (numerous times). :)

G-lock.

2011-08-20T13:29:00.000-07:00

JT is infatuated with this terrific musical clock (or as JT says "Glock") that my grandpa (JT's Great Grandpa) bought for my parents. It is the most highly entertaining thing which occurs every hour on the hour. You couldn't ask for better entertainment for a one year old. He lines up for the show and watches, and when its done he waves his hands signing "All done". As soon as he hears it, he heads over there as fast as possible and in the 59 minutes between shows, he points at it saying "glock, glock, glock, glock".

Paint Mines

2011-08-20T13:15:00.001-07:00

El Paso County Fair

2011-08-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

Point, what's the?

2011-08-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

Through the shuffling madness, a point is being driven into my skull. Not a literal point, but a scheme, a theme, an interruption of mundane thoughts. Perhaps I ignore the point, still it throbs and nibbles and remains constant. I follow through with my check listing maniacal duties. I dwell and ponder and stew. I begin making more lists. Phobic, I create results, answers, ideas and plans. Future aspirations and goals. My checklists grow, collect dust, become a part of the landscape, the decor of my existence. At the end of the year on a mad spree, I throw them away or box them up to another land. And perhaps another time.

and so it comes to an end...

2011-07-28T15:45:00.000-07:00

Since May I have been "intern'n" for the Fine Arts Center.

I am grateful for the opportunity and everything that came with the role as an intern. Obviously I am a bit behind on being an intern as I have been out of college for 9! years. I helped with web design strategies, marketing schemes, street team charades and shenanigins, concepts, brain storms, theories and research.

But come tomorrow, this party is over.

The Fine Arts Center will move on to new interns and I will move on to, well, my day job. DARN IT TO HECK.

This is - art - and its effects on me. A snapshot.

2011-07-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

I have a photo album of images I took when I was in 7th grade. It was not my first bundle of pictures that my mom took me to Longs Drugs Store to have developed, but it was my first that I shoved in a separate album all their own. They're a bundle of pictures where I tried my hand at double exposure. It was at this moment that I wanted to be a photographer. It was when I looked through my dads old photo albums and the moods he captured, that I knew I wanted to capture a mood. I wanted to be a part of that memory forever. It was possible for me to always remember something if I had an image. A reminder. I can remember many things from my past, but only those things that have a photograph that correlates to the event.

I have always taken pictures. I remember when I was in 1st grade, my grandpa gave me his old camera, which was nothing to speak of, just a 35mm point and shoot with a mountable flash. Took horrible pictures, you know the kind, with the red and yellow streaks and the red eyes, grainy beyond reason. I don't think I have that camera anymore, sold in a garage sale I'm sure, but I wish I still had it for nostalgia sake.

I have pictures in the hundreds taken since I was in girl scouts in elementary school through junior high and don't get me started on the shere volume of picutres taken in high school.

Then I went to college. Fulfilling my degree in Fine Arts. I loved art. The world of art. The ideals behind it. The reasoning for it. I didn't look at a picture because it was pretty. I looked at a picture to understand why. Why the artist felt the need to paint such a picture. The ideas and the thoughts behind the process. The mood surrounding the piece. This is inspiring to me. This is where my true love ultimately takes control. I minored in Philosophy just as an added measure of the world behind the thought, a world behind the meaning. I took photography courses every semester until there were no photography courses left. I took every computer arts course they offered. I attempted to surround myself with courses involving interpretations and their affect. I spent 4 years doing what I loved. Fulfilling that need for emotion and passion and thought provoking topics, surrounding myself in this world of what-ifs and why-nots.

I still love art. I love painting, I love drawing, I love photography. I love computer alternating things. I love creating things in general. I want to use my brain power for designing, for creating.

But I am not alone in this world of creativity. This is not an uncommon thing. Many many many people take pictures. I am not alone in the love of photography. Many people have the capability of capturing a truly fantastic and priceless moment via their camera. Anyone can figure out how to use a camera. Its the same as riding a bike or playing a guitar. You do not have to be a genius or have special gifts to accomplish such a feat. Its simply taking the time to do it.

And as much as I wish the world were more creative and inspiring for themselves and others - I have to admit this last statement eats at my core. There are many people out there exporing their hand in professional art endeavors. Ones that truly do not inspire me. Ones that capture no mood. Ones that do not have a meaning why or why not. There are photographers making huge amounts of money that I don't feel deserve it in the sense of art. Their are painters and designers that I can't get a grasp on and wonder how on earth they made it.

With all this being said, it brings me back to reflecting upon myself. I do this on a daily basis. I go through these circles around and around and around. I feel that what I love the most is not meant for me. What I am the most passionate about remains just that. I don't feel talented enough to portray whats in my head. I have a thought, an idea, a moment of true inspiriation and I start in and I feel like I failed the process. I feel as if ...whats the point. So I leave it, unfinished. It sits. It haunts. And then I go to my day job and the process starts all over.

Before vs. After

2011-07-08T16:02:00.000-07:00

A long project which started our spring off. But well, well worth it.

Office space

2011-06-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

The world of an office space.

Who are the people that consume the same air I breathe? Well here is my list. Feel free to add more.

You got the egos, the no-doers, the goody two shoe-ers, and the I'm-going-to-talk-about-how-much-work-I-have-for-the-next-hour-ers. The checklisters, the lazy-brainers and the I-do-it-all crowd. The bossers, the laughers, the stalkers, and the I talk to myselfers. You got the chocolate lovers who eat all the supplied chocolate, you got the I-don't-eat-sweets peeps and the I'm-hiding-my-chocolate-wrapper-so-no-one-knows-I-ate-sweets peeps. You have the stress heads and the red heads. You've got the I'm-the-boss types and the I-don't-give-a-shit types. You hang with the I'm-cool crowd, but talk behind their backs to the I'm-in-charge crowd. You lay low with the rebels and nose rub with the acheivers. You bring doughnuts to make friends and talk about your hips and working out with your buddies. You have the family-comes-first and the its-out-of-our-hands mixed in with the take-responsibility and the put-in-the-effort people. You got the bros and the hos, you got the dramas and the yawners. I see whities and I see divas, I see nerds in herds. You have those that are out of sight and out of mind, you have some still in Mexico and some still in Kansas. You have some staff members who forgot where home was last night after a few too many, let alone the name of the business when answering the phone the next morning. And then you have those that spent half the night working hard on something important, but no one really knows what it was.

Needless to say its a wonder how any office survives. No matter how small or how big, I am suprised there are not more mass attacks on a global scale within an office space.

I think office space should reconsider their integrating of personalities.

nights out.

2011-06-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

A Day on Mars.

2011-06-08T21:33:00.000-07:00

. . . m.a.y. 2.8. . . .2.0.1.1. ...

i. . . stepped onto. . . mars.

no creatures. . . no life forms . . .

vacant. dirt. massive. and profounding.

. . .

mars happened to be . . .

. . .

in victor, colorado.

To describe the experience would be a mixture of tremendously fascinating awe-like surreal-ness, yet contradictorily disturbing and real. The process is amazing without denial. From beginning to end. Many ecological and environmental comments can be said for what you see, what occurs and what is done in its regard, but for me I will remain neutral on both sides of the argument.

Nonetheless, on a side note, the gold that is produced is roughly 250,000 troy ounces of gold per year (according to CC&V Mining's website).

I found that one troy ounce is worth (as of May 2011) $1,479.80 !

That, my friends is a lot of money.

oh for crying out loud!

2011-05-24T15:16:00.000-07:00

Do I have anything published?   ...    no.
Do I have anything in galleries?    ...    no.
Have I ever sold a painting?     ...    NO!

ok.

Well, do I have any work related experience in any field relating to these things?   ...     NO!

I will crawl in my hole now and continue to respond "NO" like a rotten little 2 year old. hmmpff.

(P.S. Maybe after I pout about it for awhile, I'll come out of my hole blinking my eyes from the bright sunshine and sniff my way along this road to a turning point and then leap and jump and fight and yell my way down that avenue for a while    ...   I think,   ... YES!)

The irony of baby getting older.

2011-05-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

My son is getting huge, which makes me so happy and so proud.

He is in transition to toddlers room this week. Today, as I am typing this actually, he is attempting a nap in a NORMAL bed for the first time ever. No caged in monkey anymore at daycare.

This is exciting and yet...I think...What the heck? I really don't see how this will work, but it is not like he is the first baby to move to toddlers, right? Oh boy, I can't wait to hear about it later. I wish I had eyes on the room to see what is going on.

(Then come the afterthoughts)...

I have a feeling he won't nap at all.

I'm supposed to go hang out later with some friends, which I am really looking forward to.

These latter two points of this story don't mesh well together.

Proud momma to exhausted momma in 4.2 seconds.

A Taste of Music for the Week

2011-04-27T11:26:00.000-07:00

If I had a choice I would sit all day and listen to music, discovery new music I enjoy and buy up all the bands and artists I could fit into 1 ipod or 1 music library. I don't have all day to do this and for that I stick my tongue out in disgust. I have a jealousy for those people that get paid to discovery new bands. That would be the gig of all gigs.

But, nevertheless, I can still sit and pretend I have that job, and for that I give you Kari's officials Tastes this week of indie artists. Check out these and give me your thoughts, if you have any.

Boy and Bear - Mexican Mavis (this one has actual been a fave of me and my husband since it was free on
itunes a while back.
Graffiti 6 - Stone in My Heart
Brian Mackey - Places

well that's that.

2011-04-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

Each and every summer for the last 8 years, I have played in a sand volleyball league. I enjoy volleyball. Not that I am talented at it, I just enjoy the sport in general. It gave me an opportunity to play and to socialize with my friends. It was an excuse each week to hang out, catch up, laugh and play. Call it corny, but it was fun and I looked forward to it each and every week. It was my break away from reality for 2 or more hours each week. There have been a lot of memories on that sand. There have been a lot of laughs and chatter and growing up on that sand.

The place started off as the Sand Pits in 1998, then was under new management around 2008 as Sharky's. Several years ago, the owner of Oscars in downtown Colorado Springs, Phil Duhon, purchased the restaurant and changed its name again to Porkys. After one year, Phil decided to rename it yet again as Oscars East.

Thus we are in present date of Oscars East. Since it has been Porky's and Oscars East, there has been one rule after the other. Phil, who is no stranger to legal issues, made it a rule when Porky's opened that anyone under 21 had to leave a 8:00 p.m. any night of the week. This was a general sigh for our team, only because we would like to hang out after we played. During the 2nd much busier session, it became difficult to have our kids there because our league game time would start at 8:00 p.m., so there were some exceptions to this rule, but in general as soon as we were done, we had to leave. I didn't love the rule, but we all dealt with it accordingly.

Over a year ago, before our little one was born, me and my husband stopped by on our way home on a Sunday to grab a bite to eat. I was driving us around town and my husband didn't have his wallet with him. It was about 12:30, 1:00 in the afternoon. We were carded at the door. Needless to say no one under 21 was allowed in the facility: reasoning - "it was Sunday." We explained that they were a restaurant and we were just looking to grab a burger and a soda, which didn't matter. My husband whose over 30 couldn't get in the door.

This year, yet again, there is another rule. This year we received our flyers in the mail to start up the spring session for volleyball league. On the flyer, there was an announcement that no one under 21 is EVER allowed in their facility. EVER. Not morning, afternoon, night. Not if you are driving and 16 and want to go play ball with your friends, not if you are 18, legally an adult, can you walk in there at any time and have a burger. EVER. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

My question is, how can you be a business, A RESTAURANT, for crying out loud and not allow people under 21 into your restaurant. There was some jargon of liquor laws and insurance costs, etc. And it is obvious that this place struggles for business and needs help bringing in MORE people. This, unfortunately, is not the answer to solve that problem.

I love hanging out there and love the memories. I cannot believe that any place would do this, unless of course you are a strip club or serve no food at all and are strictly a bar. We of course could go the route of all of our team finding babysitters each and every week and maybe we will, maybe we won't, but I feel poor management and poor business choices will be the end of our summer fun forever.

So, Sayonara Sand Pits, hopefully either Phil gets out or the place goes under. We will have to wait and see.

But, in turn, our team has decided to make its own fun and experience all kinds of new and creative activities around town. This week we are hiking. Each and every week we will partake in some different activity WITH OUR KIDS, followed by "socialness" which will likely involve food and adult beverage (for those of us OVER 21 of course). In fact we could hit up ANY restaurant and I bet they let our kids in and we could order a beer, strange how that works.

Trouble.

2011-04-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

a garden. and a pretty cute kid.

2011-04-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

Fog for thought.

2011-03-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

Life's haze

Chance of days

Throughout the great

Lies the gate

Begins the maze

Beyond life's haze.

We all battle

We all fight

For the dreams

we see at night.

a rambling post for a rambling mind

2011-03-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

This weekend was hard for me. I attended a service for one of my art professors in college, Louis Cicotello, who recently passed away in a rappelling incident while canyoneering in Utah. This was particularly hard for me and it is strange to know exactly what is so strikingly difficult. I graduated college in 2002. I had Louis as a professor throughout my four years. In the years 2000, 2001, and again in 2002 after I graduated I went on trips with the college for credits and adventure and Louis was with us each year. These trips took us to Amsterdam - Holland; Berlin, Munich, Dresden - Germany; Veinna and Salzburg - Austria; Florence, Venice, Milan - Italy; and Paris - France. Along with other stops and day trips along the way. It was fun and exhausting 3 week trips that had us on our feet walking and walking and discovering art and history and architecture and beauty in a new world and a new culture. It was because of these trips that I gained an appreciation and love of art beyond what was already instilled in my head. It had opened up doors of possibilities and creativity and imagination within that I didn't know I had. But it was mainly because of Louis and his passion for everything he saw, did, created, ate, and came in contact with, that was inspiring and it was that passion, that motivation, that determination that I felt during that time of my life.

I think everyone at that particular age goes through the "world is wide open" phase. I was heavily addicted to the endless possibilities that my life could take. It is this passion and love for art and creative beauty behind everything or the possibility for beauty that I long for again. Nearly 10 years have passed, but I feel that it is because of Louis service and being forced to rethink about my life and my purpose for being that I can now fully understand my daily frustrations - this daily depressive state of mind that has consumed my every breath.

After I came home from the service I allowed myself to cry and take it all in. I told my husband that I felt that I needed to metaphorically crumple up all my problems and all the things that weigh me down, including my job and anything in my life that is not an avenue for success within myself and throw it as hard as I can against a brick wall. Perhaps those metaphorical things may bleed, or they may splatter like paint would making patterns or maybe they would just shatter instead like florescent bulbs do when they break. The imagery is fascinating to pretend. I can't wait to try.

One of the heads of the art department said at his service that Louis will now teach more then ever through memories and through discovery of everything he left behind. I feel like this hits it dead on. It has been a long while and I must thank Louis for helping me to discover what has been missing in my life for 10 years.

Through these discoveries of memories, I can remember what I was and what I still desire to be.

And, I was extremely blessed to know this incredible man. Life is to be lived and be excited about, every step a new discovery and every day a new breath. Life is worth living and not just go through the motions but to live as if any day could be your last. I will learn, discover, indulge, and do all that I possibly can...each day.

the look...

2011-03-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

My son was sitting in his car seat, content, staring out the window as the world past by this morning. He does this every morning. I'm not sure if he zones out or what, but you can't get him to look away. I reach back and tap him while stopped at a stop light. I say, "hey, whats up?" trying to shake him of his thoughts. My boy is 1 - as in just-turned-one-not-even-13-months yet. He turns and stares at me. No smile, no emotion. I grab his foot, say, "you ok?" nothing. Just blank stare. So I switch on Enrique Iglesias and Pitbull - "Baby I like it" - I'm dancing, I'm singing, I'm being stupid, because, well, that is what I do. I turn and see his reaction. Nothing. A smirk maybe. Geez. Whose kid is this? Not mine, common child grin for momma now! So I wiggle more in my drivers seat and really get after it with shaking and singing. Then he smiles big. But turns his head back out the window.

I have official been called crazy by my own 12 months old son. Sigh.

repair...me.

2011-03-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

I'm in repair mode. It is time.

Time to heal my unknown and mysterious wounds, time to assess, time to solve, time to move onward.

It is time to relinquish all emotions of their duties, which have been working overtime as of late.

It is time to fulfill myself with fulfillment.

It is time to surround myself with positive energy and characters that bring hope and enjoyment to the world in which I can partake in. Not the other way around, where I feel I need to be hopeful and enjoyable for others to partake in.

It is time to restore order out of chaos within my home projects, my work, my hobbies, my mind.

I feel that I will achieve far greater in life if I just let go of my inhibitions. Only I, me alone, prevents me from moving forward and I am releasing my chains NOW.

Now....or well, never.

I BLINKED!

2011-03-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

It is amazing to me how fast one year has flown by.

It was yesterday that he was 4 pounds 13 oz, so helpless and tiny, and today he is 24 pounds, tall and ready to conquer the next step. I compared him side by side from his first bath in the same towel to just a couple weeks ago. It amazes me with the difference in size. But then again, he amazes me everyday with new things he is learning and exploring, saying and doing.

Here is to another year (although I will have to get a bigger towel). :)

ugh

2011-02-24T15:32:00.001-08:00

I am hardly ever on here anymore. Never enough time in the day to blog about it too! I promise to post my baby boy's 1st birthday pics....sigh. So sweet, yet so sad too.

I take it back...

2011-01-16T10:51:00.000-08:00

I take it back...For every time I have fussed at Armond for never picking up a camera and taking a picture of the moment. For not documenting the "mom" in JT's life. I can hear myself: "Geez, JT's not going to know who his mommy was when he was a baby, I don't have hardly any pictures of me and him" blah blah blah. (And come to think of it I have plenty)

Last weekend I wanted to paint with my baby boy, which as we all know if you have parented a kid of 10 months or so is no easy feat and in all honesty it didn't last very long. The moment was short lived. However, I did have a LOT of fun. And I think JT did to, but what I didn't expect was for my husband to grab the camera and take pictures. I am so thankful for that moment being captured. You can't really see me in the pictures, but it was the moment that I will remember. I kept the picture he did and now I will have some photo pictures to go with it. See, the problem with being a self-proclaimed "photogrpaher" is, when wanting to always take pictures, you aren't involved in what is actually going on. Its like the moment was captured and yet I wasn't involved. This time I was and, what do you know, I have some pictures of it.

So I take back any and all random blurps of my non-picture taking husband (who actually has a great eye). I forgive him and I love him for spontaneously thinking to do such a thing. For those that take a lot of pictures and are always behind the camera, I think you may know how special that really is.

Here are a few, that of course, I had to spruce up :)...

winter. its having an effect on me too.

2011-01-11T17:39:00.000-08:00

I want to post something smart. I want to talk about something significant, something extravagant, some good news. Something that will make others laugh. Perhaps a story about my day or someone I met along the way. I have nothing. I - have - nothing. Nothing.

Instead I have pictures of winter. And for some reason it almost defines me right now. Cold. Melancholy. There are more adjectives I could and would like to use, but I'll leave it be.

About the pics - These were taken out of my front door. Which is a hard feat since I live on an extremely busy street. There are no changes to the pictures themselves only auto levels on a few (for anyone critiquing). I changed my cameras settings, not the picture itself. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Anyways. Thought I would share for anyone paying attention.

despair in mind. disturbs me.

2010-12-22T12:53:00.000-08:00

I miss the days of living in a bubble as a young girl, free of all the worlds agony and despair and suffering.

I am sick of the over-enhanced media hyping up the negative.

It is human nature to rubberneck at an accident. But it wouldn't hurt if we were protected somehow by the images we saw. It wouldn't be the truth. It would, in fact, be a lie. Nevertheless, I feel that I would be happier in the end.

I don't understand this phenomenon. I don't understand why certain things happen for others to feel the pain. I don't understand how people don't have a conscience. I don't understand how people intentionally hurt others. Tragedy should not happen by man. Perhaps by nature in a once in a lifetime event. This would be the only acceptable tragedy.

Everyone has to have some sort of love, right? Some deep love of someone, a family member, a spouse, a grandparent. Even if it is a passion for books or for video games or anything that you couldn't live without. Can't everyone sense that when someones love is torn away from them, that they are broken, that their lives will never be the same. If people could grasp the concept of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" I feel the world would be a better place. This simple standard is disintegrating and its sad. Too much hate.

I like the msn week in review pictures, but at times I can't stand it, because of its graphic images and it instantly makes me sad. But I LOVE LOVE the beautiful and happy pictures. I recently got the year in review" pictures via email and looked through them. It is too much to say that a beautiful photograph stems from such horrific and tragic events of the year 2010. And yet I rubberneck.

I have - simply stated - had a shitty year, financially, emotionally. But nothing, NOTHING, would ever prepare me for the things people endure. And for some on a daily basis. It is so sad. And for this I am truly thankful.

I want to crawl back in my bubble now. I don't want the constant negativity around me to deaden my senses. I want my child to be brought up in a place where love is abundant and clear and beauty is still in a flower and in the night sky. I want to trust my neighbor and I want to be able to show him the world. Its scary to imagine what the future holds.

It is my duty and my mission to uphold the beauty. I will keep my baby in a bubble for as long as possible and hopefully, one day, he will know that there is still beauty out there.

its beginning to look alot like Christmas...

2010-12-17T16:27:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving at my parents house, JT got to open up one present, which happened to be some Christmas - Santa Claus pajamas.

I finally got around to looking at these pictures and I had to share them. Because if these pictures don't get you excited, well, then check your pulse.

I love Christmas.

This is the joy and fun and love I feel in my heart every year around this time.

The simple nature of being with those you love and the purity of it all.

It is a time to give praise to God.

And well, okay lets face it, it may be a little about the presents too....take a look:

Time is like ice cream. Never enough of it.

2010-12-16T14:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure why I don't write on here more often. I know its lack of time, energy, commitment, that sort of excuse.

But here is an update on whats been going on and what I have been thinking about recently:

My child is going into surgery for tubes and aednoidectomy. I HATE THIS. But am hopeful that it will prevent him from going to the doctor every few weeks for ear infections.

I am excited about the holidays.

I am unexcited about the Broncos.

My kid is amazing and the cutest thing ever created.

My dogs need to be walked.

My house is a pigsty and I hate it every time I walk through the door and yet I sit and play with my kid or watch the television and don't do a damn thing about it.

I never finished getting my Christmas things from my pantry.

I wish that I could run, but with my knee is still weak and I can't...but I am now walking for a few minutes on the treadmill at home in the mornings. Its a start.

I have a lot of projects that I need to finish. Especially those for other people.

I need a new job (this should actually be higher on my list as I dwell on this subject WAY TOO OFTEN)

I saw a job I wanted in Denver but I don't have experience in Creative Suite - Indesign and Illustrator. Stupid.

Would I live in Denver? Could I live in Denver financially now? nope.

bills.

vacations.

Sunsets in Colorado Springs are beautiful lately and I never have my camera with me. grrr.

This is about everything that I have been thinking about recently give about a thousand more piddlily little ridiculous things.

I hope that everyone else is doing well. And I wish that I could spend more time with my friends and family. I love you all.

I've got no play

2010-11-14T16:42:00.000-08:00

What a week. What a silly, goofy, blur of a week. And yet, I loved being home, especially once I started feeling better.

I had my knee surgery. It all went okay. I suppose. (I'll spare all the gruesome details). But here I am at the end of the week, Sunday. I go back to work tomorrow and I think to myself....well I got 6 weeks off for a baby and I got a week off for my knee. I am out of vacation time until NEXT NOVEMBER!!! So, what can I do to scheme something up. I'm at a loss and in this realization, I feel like I am doomed. Work and NO PLAY. This week was nice, like I mentioned especially once I started feeling better and could move, but I don't consider this week as play. Now I want my real vacation. You know that beach trip sippin margaritas with an umbrella.

Damn.

Thought for the day...

2010-10-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

So, I was rifling through my junk mail and I came across this one that stated they were recalling a particular hip replacement. Now, given, I don't know if this true (and I don't trust anything in my junk mail), so I went to ever faithful (and without a doubt always truthful and honest) google and searched "hip replacment recall" and sure enough, there is a company that has recalled hip replacements. I'm sorry, but this is a sad sad state of affairs, when you first of all have to undergo hip replacement surgery to then say...oopsy, our bad, lets try again.

So, my thought of the day is life is never that bad.

I'd give my left knee...

2010-10-25T10:57:00.000-07:00

So, 14 years ago, I was playing hide and seek at my grandparents house. Yes, hide and seek. It was summer and I was hanging out with my cousins. We had "home base" at the bottom of a tiered yard. I was running and trying to get to home base before my cousin tagged me out. In order to do so, I couldn't take the stairs, I had to kamikaze myself and jump off of the tier, which was only about 3 feet high. Unfortunately, what was a sure win on my part to home base was the ultimate betrayal of my left knee. When I landed, I came down on my left leg and all my weight decided to go another direction. All I remember is serious pain and my knee spasming uncontrollably. I didn't know what happened and I remember my dad telling me to stop shaking my leg and I told him with NO tears that I was not doing that, it was my leg all on its own.

I can't remember when we went to the doctor but it was within a day or two of this happening. The doctor looked at it and moved it around and said without any films or further investigation that I likely had a torn cartilage. I cannot remember if I was supposed to follow up with treatment or undergo tests. All I remember is that I was starting a brand new school in less than a month. I remember that going into my sophomore year in high school, I could not let my knee get in the way of volleyball. I remember that I had 2-a-days starting the very next week. And that I wouldn't miss them for the world.

I don't know what people thought of me when they first met me in 2-a-days at the new school where I had no friends. All I remember is that I must have looked like a fool out there on the court trying my damndest to win over a new coach, new teammates, new system. But I had this knee that would go out on me every hour or so. I'd take one wrong step and I'd crumble to the floor. I remember literally, sliding myself off the court numerous times on my butt to the side of the gym. I remember people I didn't even know come rushing over to see if I was okay. I also recall telling them that I was fine, that I just needed one minute and then I'd be back up and playing. And I did.

I never wanted my knee to be a cause of concern not only for others, but myself and for 14 years I have dealt with its imperfections, whether it be snowboarding or volleyball or simply never leading with my left leg up a stair. I realize now that throughout all this time, my knee has always been in the back of mind as a crutch. "Oh, I have a bad knee" became second nature for me.

When the doctor asked me to relax my knee, I had a revelation that I haven't "relaxed" my knee in a very very long time.

After the MRI, I do have a chronic complex torn ACL and due the ACL tear, I have torn my medial meniscus and have a frayed lateral meniscus. And I have the beginning stages of arthritis.

And so, with the most resent "pop" which became so common, it was the icing on the cake for me. My knee is no longer going to be an issue and I will soon go into surgery and say...."PEACE OUT KNEE" I've had enough.

Big things, Little things

2010-10-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

Recently, I find myself wondering how the little things could possibly be the giants in a life full of big things.

The big things, the so-called important things... the reality of living life itself -priorities, responsibilities, daily grind - these are, well, a big deal and yet so small in comparison to the smile on my son's face when he discovers a new shadow. The squeal of his voice in delight. The big things, the world we live in where money dominates every niche and cranny, to provide for my family and know that my time at work is for a better future. This is big. But its not as big in comparison to the way I feel when I hold my husbands hand at the end of the day as we stare in awe as our baby starts to crawl across the living room floor. The joy and happiness that I feel right at that moment. That feeling is HUGE, a GIANT, compared to the "big things".

If I could place all the little things in a jar and lock them up as my weapon, I know that no matter what the big things have in store for me, I could defeat it. Because I am armed with the strength and love and joy of all the little things.

Service this!

2010-10-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with people and customer service these days?

I don't care if you are from the US, or India, or Mexico or Antarctica, people are turning into robots. Every last customer service representative, is turning into a mindless, emotionless pit of politically correct, fake-ass, robots saying what people want to hear and not having one solitary thought or feeling or emotion about it.

Today I had to call 24 hour fitness for the FOURTH TIME. To try and cancel my account. 4th TIME! I have been charged every month and still they keep charging me. Although I couldn't understand a word the guy said on the phone, I realized that he didn't even listen to me. It didn't matter if I was talking Swahili or Indian or English, he rightly didn't give a crap and just said what he was supposed to say at the appropriate time, likely off of his computer screen.

Then I had to call Qwest for the THIRD time since I either have phone and no internet or internet and no phone. It seems that Qwest has issues. And to try and make someone understand my issues, is like trying to convince a black man he is white. Its not really possible (unless of course you are blind). Dealing with these huge corporations and their so called "service" frustrates me beyond all means. I feel like I am fighting with a shadow and there is no winning nor losing, it is just an endless emotional pit of nothingness and I feel so unimportant....like they are all ROBOTS.

I feel like I am trying to make my vacuum cleaner feel sorry for me.

Sucks.

I hate where the world is going these days.

A day in the life of a dog...

2010-10-10T16:50:00.000-07:00

On Saturday 10.9.10, we headed out to participate in Pawtober Fest 5k walk/run to support the Humane Society of the Pikes Peak Region. It was a blast. Here are some shots from the day.

Gorgeous day.

There were so many doggies and people. I was suprised.

Lining up to start.

Raya was ready too. Lets go, or throw me a ball or something, gosh.

There were big doggies...

Little doggies,Dogs that looked like a Jim Henson character,

IT was GREEEEAT.

AND THEY ARE OFF!

Running.

This little guy was having fun watching the doggies and people go by.

I can't handle walking 2 dogs let along 4!

Costumes were a plus.

He finished! Good job!

Then we hung out by Nosh where the dog party was. Although there wasn't any beer, which they advertised. Sigh. Oh well, we made our way downtown and found some...ha!

HAHA. :)

I want that camera! Stop pointing it at me!

All participants ready to go!

Thought for the day... lets bring back a lost art

2010-10-08T14:01:00.000-07:00

So many things have changed since I was little.

I am not that OLD people.

I am only 30. sigh. But really you would think things wouldn't be that different.but they are.

I remember sitting in class when I was young writing notes to all my friends in neon pens with big bubbly letters and circle dots for my "i" and periods at the end of my sentence. I remember that it was fun, that it was sneaky and exhilarating to pass them in class and not get caught. I remember that I felt unloved if I didn't receive a note in between classes to read in my next period. I do know that because of these notes, I would keep in touch with people. Albeit about boys typically, but I felt like I really knew their deep dark secrets and I was a good secret keeper.

Today, I can't even assume what junior high and high school girls do. Maybe this still happens. But then why does it go away after high school?

I feel that life is losing that sense of belonging and personal touches that would come from a letter or a note. With the world of texting and emails. I feel that life is becoming a novel of inadequate status updates and shortening of my thoughts to under 160 "characters". The funny thing is I am writing this ironically on an internet blog without any personal touches such as a squiggly lines under love or a heart by the title. But all the same I wonder if there is anyone else out there that misses it too. A little extra time to tell someone by their own penmanship that they care.

Every year I send out Christmas cards. Every year the ones that show up in my mailbox dwindle down. I can count on my grandparents and my parents and a select one or two people who obviously feel the same way I do about a personalized notes. I'm not sure why people don't do this anymore. I am trying to "get with the times" and be less personable. But it truly is not in my nature.

This is why I have decided starting this month that at least once a month I will send out a note, a card, or a thank you or a thinking of you to someone close to me. Its always a smile on the receiving end that makes it all worth while.

Join me in bringing this dying art back and send someone you are thinking about a note or a card. I guarantee they won't expect it and I bet you make their day.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

2010-10-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

Over the last month I have partaken in a irrational amount of contest entries and lotto events lately.

Some of these, for example are:

I attempted to win a trip to London to watch the Denver Broncos play.

I have attempted to win a trip to the World Series by voting for my favorite baseball player, Troy Tulowitzki.

I have attempted to win a trip to Italy by drinking beer...yes, beer.

And, although the beer is nice, in the end, I was disappointed to not be lucky. In fact I am SO UNLUCKY right now that if I found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, I would probably be struck by lightning first or allergic to the gold in the pot, so bad that I would break out in hives and go into epileptic seizures that I would be not be able to pick up even one piece of that gold.

Yup, no luck at all.

My unluckiness, however, is greatly improving. I am the Queen of Unlucky. So much that just in the last week, Unlucky gave me a broken washing machine and likely a torn ACL (although I haven't confirmed that yet).

I am ready for the next pie to be thrown in my face now....what will the flavor of this one be, I wonder?

Costumes for munchkins...

2010-09-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

So, I was looking up costumes to adorn my sweet baby boy who will be 8 months old during Halloween.

I was looking at him being a pirate, so I thought I would check some sites on what baby pirates look like:

(Did you see the ears on that older kid, phew! Dumbo the pirate, sorry kid!)

Anyways, as I was looking I came across some FUNNY pictures. OH MAN, it makes me feel like we should do something a bit more creative for JT. Here are a few of the funnier ones:

I think the faces on the kids are perfect for their outfits.

HA!

Good ol August.

2010-08-13T12:31:00.000-07:00

Ode to August

August, once thy friend,
You are the end.
The end of a youthful
and playful memory.

August, once thy friend,
You came too soon.
Sooner then I'd hoped
Sooner then I can believe.

Damn you August,
for now I will be old
Older then most professional athletes
and older then I feel.

Damn you August,
the summer is almost over
you bring football, which means cold
you bring my damn birthday, so now I'm old.

I will be turning 30 towards the end of this month.
I will now go sit in my recliner and start knitting so I don't break a hip.

imagine.

2010-07-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

I stare at this blank post. I wonder to what end I write. I imagine that I write to thousands. I imagine that I write only to myself. I imagine that I can inspire if I word it just right. I imagine that I can bore with ease if not careful. I imagine that someday I will become only what I imagine. My imagination grows and within me, I imagine the possibilities.

Lyrics are a funny funny thing

2010-07-01T11:19:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have a song that you have listened to for years, like since you were a little kid and you think you know the words to the song, except you really don't know the words at all? I know this happens to everyone. For example, I was listening to "Blinded by the Light" by Manfred Man. Old song, good song, everyone has heard it or if they haven't, they are weird. Anyways, I am in my car singing along having a good ol time and then suddenly, out of nowhere, I realize I am not really singing English. I am singing some gibberish in a spewed out version of what sounds similar, but realize they aren't even words that I have ever heard before. *sigh* This happens a lot more then I would like to admit. The thing is, I will not change my gibberish habits. I won't do it. Because I have made the mistake of looking up the real lyrics before and it ruins the song for me. So to all you people out there that sing your own lyrics and make up your own words like me, cheers to you. Lets all sing loud and proud, just with the windows rolled up and no one listening. ;)

On a side note, if you happen to listen to Manfred Man's "Blinded By the Light" take a moment to devour the beautifully done rendition of "Chopsticks" placed ever so carefully in the latter part of the tune. Cracks me up. I really have no idea why this was done and whose creative energy thought that this would help the songs overall appeal. Who knows, but its funny as hell. haha.

If I do say so myself.

2010-07-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

Let me just start off by saying that this may come across a little vain, conceited even. With that being said, I am a catch. Let me explain:

I am a true genuine sports fan. We girls are hard to come by. I was speaking with my friend Kristin yesterday and she loves watching baseball, but not really any other sports. I, on the other hand, watch (and love watching, mind you) football, baseball, basketball, hockey, even the recent world cup race is pretty damn entertaining, it really doesn't particularly matter because I am a lover of sports in general.

Its a funny passion, this sport loving thing. I grew up in a family that loves sports, so really it is second nature for me. But because of this passion in sports, you become so stupidly involved in opinions and emotions that it sometimes becomes exhausting watching a game. Only true sports fans understand this. The crazed exhilarating emotion of victory, where you jump up and around and high five and scream "hell-yahs"; to the pissy emotion of defeat where profanities are every other word and no one can make you feel better about what you just saw because they freaking sucked and yet you will wait in anticipation for the next game no matter what. This is passion. This is sports loving at its finest.

My husband and I were talking yesterday late afternoon and he was watching Sports Center. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE sports and I will go back and forth with my husband with opinions and comments that will challenge any commentator, but the worst thing is Sports Center merry-go-rounds of uninteresting repeated filler that only they do best. For example, yesterday was countdown to the NBA free agency craze. But I must say that a countdown to free agency is one thing. Three hours, Fifteen minutes, and four seconds of discussion from a bunch of opinionated know-it-alls on where Lebron James is going to end up is not only pointless but a serious waste of my time. This is where I draw the line in my sports excitement. I think Lebron is good and I think he should be talked about in his free agency drama, but not for 3 weeks leading up to this point and not every single day and not for the hours before the free agency arrival and not by every person on every damn show. Drives me flippin bonkers. Really, who cares. I care a little bit, for like 10 minutes, but no one knows and no one on Sports Center knows, so do we really need to talk about it with every sports analysis in the whole country. No. Seriously. No.

Again, on my way home....

2010-06-18T16:24:00.000-07:00

...I was following a guy on a spiffy little crotch rocket that happened to have been recently purchased, as it had temporary tags on it. I drive Platte which is a long stretch and he happened to be in front of me the entire time. He kept moving around alot on the bike, which got me to pay more attention. Then he was moving around more, hand on his leg a bit awkwardly. Then while at a stop light he managed to yank and pull and move his pants down and around about 5 times each side. You know the pulling you do when your pants are uncomfortable. When we started to move again, he was still manuevering his pants and pulling them down from where they must have crowded him. I started to laugh. I couldn't help but think... "Dude, you bought a CROTCH ROCKET and now you have a crotch rash."

So, on my way home...

2010-06-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

... I was following this Jeep Cherokee. A mid 50s-60s gentleman was driving. I first noted that he had a University of Duquesne sticker in his back windshield, which happens to be in Pittsburgh, PA. Since I was still following him, I then noted that he had a Pittsburgh Steelers license plate cover. Okay. Then I happened to see that his COLORADO license plate read "PGH PA"....Pittsbugh, PA. *sigh* IF YOU LOVE PITTSBURGH SO MUCH THAT YOU WOULD ABBREVIATE IT ON A FREAKING COLORADO LICENSE PLATE, THEN MOVE THE HELL BACK TO PITTSBURGH.

Seriously.

my my my poker face....

2010-06-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

I'm confused...

2010-05-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with this picture?

...

2010-05-08T13:31:00.001-07:00

I love my kid.

something in a mood.

2010-05-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

You know there are times that I feel overwhelmed and frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. And then there are times where everything falls into place, the planets are aligned and all is right in the world. I wonder what the difference is in these days from the time I wake up to the time I lay my head down to sleep. I wonder what happens in those moments from dawn to dust that alters ones mindset from bliss to pissed. I feel that ones mood is in actuality a reflection on what surrounds you. Moods altered by things out of my control, like other people, jobs, money, etc. I wonder how I can surround myself with only the things that bring the ultimate joy, beauty, and happiness. And then I realize that this is impossible and it takes the bad days to show us how wonderful the good days really are.

So my final conclusion is:

Too much happiness becomes mundane and it takes a little bit of crap to make you realize how good you really had it.

And you can quote me on that.

Someones in the kitchen with Grandma, someones in the kitchen I know-o-o-o!

2010-05-06T17:57:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I think Julian could sell some Penne Pasta with his cuteness.

Yup, just add cute lil tootsies, stir and VOILA the baked ziti was a hit! :)

man time flies when you are having fun......

2010-04-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

1998

2010

But still my closest friends!

Love you.

(Gosh, makes me nervous to see how much change the next 12 years will bring)

SPRING R.I.P. 1981-2009

2010-04-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

Since as long as I can remember,

every Spring was filled with green and new growth at my house.

A rebirth of beauty and color.

Spring passed away last year after a new addition to our family,

named Raya, a spry Border Collie mix.

Sadly, Spring is missed at our house.

Even with hope that Spring will make its way back to our home someday, we are left empty hearted and deeply saddened that it is a false hope. New spring life will attempt to take on the treacherous nature of our dog Raya, only to be trompled and destroyed.

I feel one day, Spring may win the battle. But for now we can only bow our head in remembrance of the once beautiful season, that was Spring.

a wish

2010-03-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

My wish is to be as good a parent to my baby boy as my parents are to me.

"...We're new as grandparents, so have patience with us.

We'll have a great time, in that you can trust.

So take as long as you need to grow,

we'll be here waiting, when you decide to show.

In closing we wish you both comfort and rest,

in the coming days, which can be such a test.

Relax in the knowledge that we're here for you,

as the miracle of birth makes one person two."

(Part of the poem my parents wrote for me and Choo at my baby shower,

which I am reading aloud in the above picture.)

Ready or not here I come...........

2010-03-15T15:50:00.000-07:00

Kari and Armond sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g,
First comes love, then comes marriage.....

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

And then there were three.

Introducing Julian Terry (JT).
His arrival was a bit before any of us were expecting it, but thankfully everything went smoothly (relatively speaking) and he was as healthy as any newborn can be (considering he came out at only 4 pounds 13 ounces) on February 23rd.

So small and yet so beautiful, it is hard to imagine that this lil guy was inside of me and created by Armond and myself. He truly is a blessing and I know that he will fill our hearts with love and joy forever.

His hands are so tiny, and yet very big in proportion to his body. I know it is a reflex in all babys to grab fingers, but I feel in my heart of hearts that Julian's hands held mine as if to say, "Whoa, mom, that was crazy, where am I?" and my response was, "Son, you have begun your journey, you were healthy and ready to take on life for all its worth (whether a month early or not), you just couldn't wait, so here is to you and your bright future and all my love along the way."

This picture was taken the morning after I delivered. JT was a little over 24 hours old. If you look closely, I am in the pciture holding Julian and you can vaguely see my room with the balloons and things and of course, the sunrise. For some reason this picture will always hold some of the emotions and mood that I felt within that first 24 hours. Everything felt dream like and unreal and in a sense (to me) this pic feels the same way.

The two wonderful men in my life.

Doo Hickey

2010-02-22T15:36:00.000-08:00

I've heard the cautionary tales of "pull of all plastic and loose tags from anything you give to a baby".

Ok, righto.

Do you know that 99% of ALL baby supplies, clothes, balnkets, toys, etc, etc etc ALL have about 10 per item. Not kidding - on one blanket ALONE, I pulled off 9 plastic doo-hickeys.

You know the plastic doo hickey I speak of...

These darn things:

The plastic doo hickey that gets stuck in your carpet and won't vacuum up, even after going over the same spot 10 times.

The plastic doo hickey that won't come out of your new socks and sticks you continuously in the second toe the first time you wear them.

The plastic doo hickey that remains in tact while the entire tag rips off and now you can't pull it with your fingers, so you have to go and find the darn scissors just to get it off. Then you can't find the scissors, so you just decide to leave the darn thing on there and 3 years later you realize, "Oh! So thats whats been pricking me in the middle of my back all this time and here I thought it was because my shirt is wool."

The plastic doo hickey that comes flying off uncontrollably never to be found again, until your cat decides one day that it is going to gag and choke itself on some mysterious item that you can't even see until you catch a glimpse of it in the sunlight and its the tail of that damn plastic sticking out of his mouth!

YES!

THAT PLASTIC DOO HICKEY!

After 3 hours of pulling off plastic doo-hickeys, I am wondering who in Gods green earth created such a horrible and ridiculous item.

If it is you and you are reading this blog ....RUN ....RUN!

For reals? FOR REALS - NO RESOLUTIONS!

2010-01-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

So, lets be honest here people, how many of you have really kept up with your resolutions thus far?

LIARS!

I did not make any resolutions this year and am happy to say that I have stuck with this fully. (*big cheesy smile*).

Last year I made resolutions...I even posted them on my blog. I am ashamed to say that I really didn't accomplish a damn one of them within the year of 2009. I especially like the one that says: "To laugh more, especially at work" ... I must have been feeling mighty hopeful for the year of 2009. What the hell was I thinking?

This year I say SCREW IT.

Forget all the flowery nonsense that I fill my brain with. Why do I do this to myself?

Don't get me wrong, 2009 was a good year. I got to travel, be with those I love, I also got knocked up and I went in a crazy spiraled out of control mess with work, but in the end I was doing ok. Up and up, right?

2010 will be a big year. The biggest of 2010 will be a lil screaming baby, who will bring about lack of sleep, lack of humility, and loss of independence, but LOTS of cuteness and love and I can't wait!!!

In my high aspirations of NOT making resolutions, I will expect nothing and will likely gain everything. I am ready. BRING IT ON. But I will not have to hold myself accountable next year for those darn resolutions. I will just face whatever comes my way and embrace the living heck out of it, whether good or bad.

here goes....

A home.

2010-01-17T09:54:00.000-08:00

We are now official home owners.

As of Friday, January 15, 2010, we have official purchased the home that I have lived in for 29 years, 4 months and 19 days.

I suppose it only seems appropriate.

Now if that magic fairy dust would turn this home into a castle on a hillside with abundant acres and meadows filled with flowers, I will have my dream home. HA! :)

Where has the time gone?

2010-01-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

13 weeks:

22 weeks:

26 weeks:

28 weeks:

Now I am currently at 30 weeks.

Wait a minute? Hold up. WHAT?????????

Where did the time go and when did I get pregnant?

And why is there only 7 weeks til term? ...oh my.

In 2 months (or so) I will be carrying a newborn child that is my flesh and blood in my arms.

This fact is daunting, exciting, insane and downright still a bit unbelievable.

I will be a mother, Armond will be a father.

At this moment everything seems so small in comparison to bringing a life into this world. I just pray that we will succeed and be everything I feel we can be for this child.

Meeting Choo Choo

2009-12-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

I met Choo Choo for the first time yesterday.

I mean, Choo Choo has been inside me for months and months, but never have I seen the little one. Yesterday I had my first ultrasound. Little late, thanks to a scheduling "mixup" (oh boy I made that sound positive, eh?). Needless to say it was bit behind the timeframe for a "first ultrasound". I figured it out yesterday and I believe that I only have around 13 1/2 weeks left until Choo Choo officially makes it into the world. Which is sooner then I know it. Must get busy busy busy after the holidays.

But as I mentioned, I met lil Choo Choo. Choo Choo waved and yawned and slept and cuddled and all the parts looked healthy and good, so the ultrasound tech said. The baby was 2 pounds 4 ounces right now which the tech said was average. I am glad that I was able to meet the little pumpkin. Makes it feel SO REAL and now I can't wait to meet the baby in real life.

twiddley-dee twiddley-DUMB

2009-12-23T10:57:00.000-08:00

Working before the holidays is dumb. ESPECIALLY when you have nothing to do, but sit at a desk and stare at your computer. Which then amounts to HOPING you get an email, CUSSING at Free Cell, wishing you had more Facebook friends to chat to, and being extremely bored surfing the latest news on google. I would rather be home gathering up presents and heading to the mountains. Why don't bosses get that? When asked what I'm doing I'm honest and I say: "nothing". Then they are supposed to respond with, "Well then go home, enjoy your holiday and by the way Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Feliz Navidad EVEN." Sounds good to me. But nope. Nothing.

Twiddley-dee, twiddley-DUMB.

I'll take a side order of positive

2009-12-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile, eh?

Hope everyone that reads this is doing most fantastic.

So, I was going to post a bummer blog about my back hurting, or perhaps about my latest home makeover disasters, or maybe about my emotional meltdown yesterday....but I have decided that today is POSITIVE KARI DAY. Googled definition of POSITIVE: characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty. I like this definition. I was thinking I'd find something like, "opposite of negative," which would mean that I was an optimist, which I highly doubt, but to take certain words from the above definition I pick out these ones to apply to my day: to have character displaying certainty. This to me sounds most intriguing and more along the lines of my positive attitude today.

I am "certain" of many things. I also "accept" many things. If all I have to do is display this understanding by my character then I feel I have a good chance at reaching my goal and positivity will surround me. In fact, I feel a wave of positivity being possible for longer then just a day, perhaps even a lifetime. Oh man, today is a good day. I feel better already. I should have more positive days.

I am certain that I have people around me who love me. I accept those who don't.
I am certain that there is a better path for me to follow in life. I accept the path before me, until I reach the right one.
I am certain that my baby growing inside me is a gift from God. I accept the baby's faults and will look at them to be only beautiful and individual, an extended gift.
I am certain that I have no clue where life will lead me, yet I accept and challenge not only myself but others to wander in the direction of their heart and life will lead you to the path undiscovered.

I am certain that the Wendy's cheese hamburger I just had was the tastiest ever. I accept those that don't particularly care for Wendy's hamburgers and forgive them. :)

Creativity earns you a $dollar!

2009-11-19T14:01:00.000-08:00

Driving out of the Walmart parking lot today at lunch I see the infamous person at the corner with the cardboard sign. I sigh, planning on not even looking in his direction. For some reason, these "people" bother me. There have been times where I will ignore them turn the corner to see a brand new flashy mountain bike stashed under a bush. Erks me beyond belief. But as I was making the turn, a word on his sign caught my eye. That word: "cheese". I had to then do a double take and figure out what the heck his sign said.

It said: "I've got a vision of a cheese burger"

As I was waiting my chance to turn, I had to laugh literally out loud. I don't care is he is stashing $500 in those nasty pants, that was pretty creative. So, Mr. Bum, here is your dollar.

oh you didn't know?

2009-11-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

BTW.....

I don't know if anyone knows it yet, but I started my new silly blog site:

http://sharperthanabowlingball.blogspot.com/

So add it to your follow list and be sure to add anything funny, silly, goofy, ridiculous, dumb, I don't care! It keeps me entertained and hopefully, maybe, it will for you too!

I just started it, so don't expect much yet, GOSH!

Its a first!

2009-11-16T12:56:00.000-08:00

So, Saturday night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I actually for the first time felt little Choo Choo move. It was a bit interesting feeling, strange to say the least. It felt like little fishies swimming around in there.

Then, I remembered eating Seafood Gumbo and cornbread for dinner.

So, either I felt Choo Choo or those Shrimps from the Gumbo were STILL ALIVE! :)

I'm pretty sure it was the baby.

I suck at being an adult (part 2)

2009-11-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

Simple things seem to become HUGE obstacles for me lately. And UNFORTUNATELY not obstacles I have been able to overcome. Within the last month, our heating system decided it would not work one morning. I, of course, just so happen to have a father in the "heating business". I call. I explain my dilemna and he walks me through all the different scenerios. It ended up that the system was fine, but it was my thermostat that was not responding to my furnace. Okay. Simple enough. Checklist: go to Lowes, buy new "easy to install" simple heat-cool thermostat. Check. Me, being the one who must tackle ALL, tells Armond that I am a PRO at installing thermostats. This won't even be a problem. See, I used to help my dad out with trims back when I was in high school during the summers. YES FOLKS, I was a construction worker. So, I decided to take on this thermostat like nobodies business. This thing would take me 15 minutes TOPS. Well, 2 hours later and carpal tunnel syndrome from trying to connect the various electric wires, I think I finally figured it out. Well, the furnace never stopped running when it was turned on. That was clue number one. Clue number two, was the next day when we turned on the thermostat to heat the house, the AC came on. ? what ?
So what came of this dissmal failure: My dad came down and fixed it the following day.

Along these same lines, a couple weeks ago, our dishwasher of 29 years decided to not actually wash the dishes anymore, which kind of defeats the purpose of having a dishwasher. (The machine itself actually says "potwasher" - which I think shows you how old it really was, and I think the word "potwasher" is just funny in general). Anywho - Armond and myself finally got around to buying a new dishwasher this weekend. We were looking for a white one. Not any specifics about the features or components, nope - a WHITE ONE. We went to Sears and what do you know - they had only one WHITE one in stock. "Guess that is the one then!" So we purchase the begeezing thing and go about our merry day. On Sunday, while the Broncos decided not to show up and play football, we started working on getting the old machine out of the cubby. Well after 3 hours of piddling around with it, we realized this was NOT as EASY as we once had hopes it would be. At that moment, all I could think in my head was three little words, "WHAT-THE-HELL" What the hell is wrong with us that we can't manage to do anything without a big disaster or never being able to finish the project at hand. Oh lordy, WHAT THE HELL am I thinking about bringing a baby into this world when we can't even PULL A FREAKING DISHWASHER OUT OF A HOLE! ugh. So I cried, as most pregnant women do when stressed out. And then the phone rings. My mom was calling to discuss the Bronco game as I tried to cover my crackling crying voice with smiles. She wasn't fooled. Needless to say, my dad is now in town today FIXING our dishwasher dilemna. And once again, I suck at being an adult.

Birthstones-Schmirthstones

2009-11-13T10:02:00.000-08:00

So, about 3 years ago, maybe 4, I purchased a necklace for my mom for her birthday. It was a small daisy-like flower with pedals made of blue topaz and peridot in the middle. Blue topaz being my mom's birthstone and perdiot being my birthstone. Well, at least I think it was blue topaz. Then I thought maybe it was aquamarine. My mom thought it was aquamarine and that aquamarine was her birthstone. This is not the case. Aquamarine is the birthstone for March (brought to my attention since I am due in March). My mom disagreed stating that aquamarine was her birthstone in December. So, today, I look up birthstones for December. I realize NOW that birthstones are the MOST RIDICULOUS thing EVER. Traditional birthstones for December interchanged betweenTurquoise AS WELL AS blue topaz. When "Googling" "December birthstone" I came up with this list:

Turquoise

Blue Topaz

Tanzanite

Zircon (which comes in every flipping color, white, blue, yellow, red, etc)

Lapis

Onyx

even Ruby! (which I'm not even going to show since this is ALSO July's stone).

I know this post is silly, but REALLY PEOPLE??? I am so confused and so dumbfounded. How is anyone supposed to keep track of this stuff. I'm sticking with blue topaz....MAYBE turquoise and forgetting the rest.

But it does fit nicely into this politically correct country we live in. If you happened to despise blue topaz or even turquoise, maybe your allergic to BLUE in general, its okay, we have a stone for you. We will just keep changing it until everyone is happy. Sigh.

So for my baby, I've already seen aquamarine and bloodstone, which I think are the top two - OH BUT LEST YOU HATE THOSE, you can also choose jade, jasper or opal.

Am I the only one that sees this as a bit much?

poor pitiful me.

2009-11-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

I once had Fridays off.
I don't now.
I once could work on Artsy Phartsy on Fridays.
I can't now.
I used to have 3 day weekends.
I don't now.
I used to look on the bright side.
I can't now.

:) No, really, this is more in fun then bitching. But I must admit without trying to sound too antagonistic, it was hard after 2 years of not working at an office job on Fridays to full swing 8-5, I was exhausted. I said to my husband later last Friday (who of course works his rear off M-F) "How do people do it? Not having Fridays off? It sucks."
... He didn't respond.

I suck at being an adult

2009-10-23T07:47:00.000-07:00

In a few posts ago I mentioned the fact that I am pregnant.

Now this may be an underlying factor in the emotional roller coaster that I have been on for the last month and a half or so. A few of my friends would be quick to remind me that its okay that you want to cry at everything or want to punch a wall because you patience factor is no longer in existence. But I feel a lot of this last months stress and worries and feelings of desperation have more to do with the things happening around me.

Its no secret that I am not 100% passionate about my profession, which is paralegal. But within the last month I have went from top of my game to the bottom and as many details of this that I could go into (and many have maybe heard from me on one of my rants), I'd rather not post them for the world to see.

Everyone has job issues. Everyone. I feel I'm no different, but the stress and ridiculous nature of my job has taken a huge toll on me as of late.

You also know (if you read this blog) that me and my husband were looking at buying a house. We found beautiful, large, spacious home with room to play in near Woodland Park, just 20 or so minutes to the west of Colorado Springs. We have waited for a month and half to get an answer on a short sale (which by the way is the longest most ridiculous process EVER) and would have continued to wait to see if our bid was the winning ticket. Last night I emailed our realtor to tell her that this can no longer happen as I will be moving into a new job (an old one actually) but the pay rate is so much lower that we just couldn't afford it anymore. To say the least, this made me cry all over again.

It has just been a sad and hard couple of months. From really high highs down to really low lows.

I keep telling myself that things can be a lot worse and the reason for everything changing in the last month and a half has been because it wasn't meant to be. I truly do believe this. There was some reason everything I touched turned sour. It was a sign I am sure of it. But the disappointment was hard and maybe just maybe things will turn around and I will find my happiness now that I have moved on to a new job (I'll start Nov 2nd) and don't have the stress of moving or paying for a new home looming over my head.

But then another part of me thinks that this was my first real "adultish" type move (and I am 29 years old!) that I have ever made. I mean, yes, I am pregnant, but choo choo won't be comin round for another 5 months or so, so this was our step in building a beautiful home for our family and starting fresh. And I feel that I have failed this first mission.

So as my title suggests, within the mist of the foggy sorrow parade I am feeling for myself. My first test at adulthood: FAILED. I suck at being an adult. Responsiblity and priorities that I have been taught my whole life really bite the big one and I am just ready for something wonderful to happen next. No more bad stuff. Bring on the good. I want my child to come into this life with parents that have their crap together not some mess that I have been lately.

Summer is OFFICIALLY over.

2009-10-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

I know summers been over for awhile now, as in reality it is fall, but always seems so OFFICIAL when we see our first snow that actually sticks to everything.

I love all seasons, but I'm always a bit sad to see my flowers go bye-bye.

The good thing though.........egg nog is back my friends.

my cat.

2009-10-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

Oh Ziggie.

So my cat is obsessed with my water glass.

Every night I hear him in my glass of water while I am sleeping. I guess my water must taste better then his own water or the dogs water dish. If my water is too low for him to stick his head in and drink it, he will fish it out with his paws, which drives me crazy, because then I have "floaties" in my water and I wonder where they come from, but nonetheless....it really is the cutest damn thing.

Here I caught him in the act:

new blog....

2009-09-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

So I'm thinking of starting another blog and I am trying to think of a catchy name for it.

I plan on it being dedicated to cartoons that I draw or funny things in general. So since I do not have a specific cartoon I do and I just doodle up some stuff, I wanted a catchy name for the general splash of cartoonness from me. None of it great, but thought it would be a neat idea.

So I looked up "fizzle dizzle" on google (wouldn't want to steal!) to see if there was anything that came up (mainly becase this was the first thing that popped up in my head....Now why you may ask that "fizzle dizzle" pops in my head, the answer is, I have no idea it just did) and the only thing that came up on google was the urban definition of "fo schnizzle muh nizzle izzle bizzle fizzle dizzle" which means as they put it: "Talk for people not learned in english good. They speaked like motards". So I think, this may be an option for my blog name. Then I go to page 2 of google and see some strange cartoon "rate my drawing" thing that says "fd fizzle dizzle" - I'm like, what, like, really, like what are the odds, like, seriously?

So back to square one. The next thing to pop in my head is......dandy doodles, ummm. Lame. Yankee Doodles Dandy? maybe I'm trying too hard.

So I need help...I want something catchy and fun and perferably (although I'm not sure why) two or more words that rhyme funny or maybe an funny old catch phrase with a twist??? Here are my thoughts (and each of my thoughts are fully endorsed by me and only me and anyone who steals em will be punished somehow! hee hee, just kidding, maybe):

Fizzle Dizzle
Gaggle of finagglers
Jonesing for a bone
Swell Fellers
Toons for Goons

....

Free Spirits, Suck-Ups and Wannabees Welcome

others....

One Fry Short of a Happy Meal
...Dog with two tails
...Pig in Mud
...Baby in a Booby Bar
Sharper than a Bowling Ball

Any suggestions?

You wouldn't think it'd be this hard for me to decide on my own...but dang it, it is and its important.

Sheesh.

our night last night (or should I say morning)

2009-09-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

Time: 3:37 a.m.

Me and Armond both woke up startled at a huge crashing sound and the clanks of metal falling to the ground.

Me: "What the hell was that?" To me it sounded as if our house collapsed.

Armond: "I bet that someone hit my work truck."

Armond gets up looks out window and sure enough.

I called 911 and this is the result.

Not a site that you usually see in the middle of the night.

Armonds work truck is usually parked right beside this tree:

Luckily everyone was okay, but the damage was horrific.

The minivan pushed Armonds vehicle clear into the negihbors driveway and resulted in it rear ending their vehicle! The neighbors vehicle pushed into ANOTHER VEHICLE parked in front of it!

Pretty much a mess.

Minivan obviously totalled. Armonds truck most likely totalled.

Interesting night. By the time we went back to sleep or attempted to sleep: 5:30 a.m.

a stroll with a 3 year old... ;)

2009-09-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

its things like this that drive me crazy, just as one example...

2009-09-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

Tell me how banning flavored cigarettes will help America.

Tell me how it is THE ENTIRETY of AMERICA that has to strip away a right, a freedom to ensure that someones kid is protected. This is not the parents responsibility? The parent can't teach a kid to say no?

Tell me WHY the FDA is in charge of CIGARETTES?????? They can't even tell you which prescription drug is healthy or not. It WAS FDA approved and yet now (fill in the prescription blank) has caused cancer...blah blah blah.

How does this happen and where is MY CHOICE as an American???? Why does the Senate get to choose what is and isn't allowed for me? What ever happened to freedom of choice. This should be INSTANTLY taken out of the Constitution. Because I don't see that the government lets ME have a choice in anything anymore.

I'm tired of people thinking that they will live to be 250 years old. Its not going to happen, so let your neighbor be - for crying out loud, stop telling me what I can and cannot do.

America has turned into a country for WUSSIES. Its like we are a country full of spoiled rotten grown-adult babies that cry and moan and throw hissy fits because there is something that they don't like. Well, you know what.....LIFE SUCKS. Get over yourself. I am so pissed off that the whine bags are winning this battle. People need to step up and say "HEY WHEN DOES THIS SHIT END?" There are laws about seat belts, there are laws about smoking, there are laws about jaywalking, there are lawsuits over every god damn small thing that SOMEHOW becomes someone elses fault.

Take some fucking responsibility for your own actions and keep your damn nose out of MY BUSINESS and what I decide to do to MYSELF. If I choose to smoke, drink, drive in my freaking car without a seat belt, that seems to be MY PROBLEM, I am doing the harm to MYSELF, let me be and do as I choose. I am not HARMING another driver for not wearing my seatbelt.

AND, I am NOT harming a freaking 12 year old for smoking MY OWN FUCKING CLOVE in the provacy of my home!!! How can you tell me that I am?

Something has to stop. I don't know how or if it will, but before we know it, America, every one of our rights will be dictated to us and we will have NO CHOICE and the wierd thing is most people seem okay with this, they don't realize what they are doing to their future.

We will all just become robots in the system.

venting

2009-09-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

Do I often seem frustrated on this blog? Maybe I really do feel like it is an outlet for me to express feelings. For anyone who knows me, I am not an outwardly emotional person. In fact, I am super chill. But lately EVERYTHING has been weighing on my patience. EVERYTHING. Maybe it comes with being pregnant, or I really need to get full- fledged into yoga, but from things on the news, to everyday politics, to government mandating and taking away my rights, to work, to people on the streets, to my house, to my future, to ... sigh.

Yesterday, it took me 30 minutes to put a stupid a label in the side of a binder. After that, I wanted to manslaughter all of mankind and give myself to oncoming traffic. This is how bad it is for me right now. Obviously, I would NEVER think of doing others harm, but my nerves were just so shot. Normally, I have patience, but lately I feel that nothing is going according to plan and definately NOTHING is going according to plan quickly enough.

I yelled at my boss today.... well, not yelled, but reasoned with harshly. Within a month I will be at this job alone. There is this underlying stress that sticks in the back of my mind like bubblegum that won't digest for another 7 years and with this bubbilicious comes the nightmare to be and as much as I try to just swallow it down and say "Bring it on!" I realize that I'm scared to death. And not just about my job, but what next year will bring with a new baby, what time will bring with my future and Armonds future, what the country will be like when my baby is 18 years old. Oh lordy. I really need to stop.

Luckily, I am good at being optimistic, but it still doesn't mean that these thoughts ever go away. And as I am always good at saying to others and I try to repeat to myself, "Live each day to the fullest and only worry about the things that are under your control," I still retreat back into my darkest cavern of my brain and think WHAT THE HELL, Kari, WHAT THE HELL.

I am sure many can relate. But I feel better for venting.

no one will ever know....

2009-09-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

so.

I'm pregnant.

Not sure if anyone reads this blog so I figure....I can just yell it out as loud as I want to from this blog and most likely no one will hear my voice....so let me repeat myself as I wish....

"I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

;)

Beautiful Wedding

2009-09-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

I recently got the opportunity to photograph an old friend found on facebook. Ruthann. We've known each other since junior high. It was truly a blessing that she asked to me to capture her special day and to become reaquainted at such a wonderful and beautiful time was an honor. Thank you.

Ruthann & Andy

For more pictures of this wedding go my professional website.

magnificence

2009-09-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

When I was little I dreamed of being famous.
I didn't dream of the particulars...like - I would be an actress or a musician or an artist or even invent something, all I wanted was to be famous - however I could make that happen - thats what I wanted.
I wanted to be really good at something - anything that would make my name known. I didn't even care if I was ever seen, it was my name that I wanted people to know.

So as I sit here at work, fumbling around on the internet, listening to pandora radio, thinking about working on the last of my stuff for the day - I wonder - what the hell am I doing? What the heck am I waiting for? Oh right, its the part about me being "really good" - I haven't figured that part out yet. I can't pin point anything that I want to be "really good" at, because I enjoy so many different things. That is where I struggle day in and day out, because Decent won't get you anywhere. Magnificent will.

I am thankful for everything I have in my life, past present and absolutely looking forward to the future. The one thing I'm missing is my magnificent to happen to me. If this happens, whether I'm famous or not will fulfill ever ounce of me with pride and joy. I feel however, that it will take my entire life to find the magnificent in me or the one particular that I am "really good" at.

But just so everyone knows....I have found the magnificent in life. It is my amazing parents who ever day I am thankful for and love with every fiber of my being, they are my best friends and my comfort. It is my husband who I love more and more everyday I am with him, he lets me be me and he makes me smile everytime I see him and the special bond we share is undeniably a rarety. It is my closest friends who keep me laughing and caring. It is the smell of the crisp dew in the mountains. It is the sensation of walking on fresh mowed grass without shoes. It is the fuzzy socks I choose to wear. It is the little things around me that bring the magnificence of life forward - the stranger walking by with a genuine kind smile, helping someone with the door, allowing others to go first, accepting and trying to understand that life is too short to be in a hurry.

Certain things like those listed above keep my mind focused on my goal.

Other things...such as - I have 45 minutes to finish two weeks worth of billing for my boss and get it to the bookeeper makes my mind go crazy............sigh....and I have now lost all focus :)

doggie hell....

2009-09-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

I have two dogs.

One brown australian shepherd male mutt, named Bilbo.

One tri-color australian shepherd / border collie female mutt, named Raya.

Now I love my dogs. They are my children, my joy and angels at home (for the most part).

So when me and Armond were going to visit his mother in Montrose during Labor Day, we thought....lets bring the dogs. We will get a hotel that takes dogs and bring the whole family (except our cat of course) on a trip. We figured, it would good for them and we didn't need to ask for help in watching them, etc. All in all - it was brilliant idea and neither Armond nor myself figured that we would have a weekend from hell....purely because of our dogs.

Day One:

It was Friday. I had to work until noon and Armond was working in Woodland Park about 30 minutes up the pass from Colorado Springs. He figured he would be off at 12:30 ish so, it would all work out. He would leave his work truck there through the weekend, I would come pick him up with Raya, he would bring Bilbo in his truck and we would all leave together. We figured we may even look at a house or two that we were interested in while we were up there, call the realtor schedule it. We would have plenty of time before our road trip was underway. Here is what happened...

Big time crappy day at work for Kari. Boss a bit crabby and ready to get the heck out of town. Head up to meet Armond. Time: 12:30. He's behind. Armond day at work has been crappier then mine. We were supposed to leave by 1:30 to look at some houses that we were interested in up there. Realtor cancelled, figured, well we will drive by them and see if they are worth looking at later. Everything fights Armond. Springs, wrong parts, stupid garage door. Kari walks dogs 4 times around house, reads silly book for 20 minutes, plays on phone for 20 more minutes, walks dogs again. "Armond, are you about done yet?" almost. 30 more minutes pass....sigh. Kari waited 2 hours. Time: 3:00 p.m. Forget the stupid houses, I didn't want to drive by anyway.

Finally leaving jobsite. Move the car 2 feet. Bilbo pukes a weeks worth of dog food all over everything. Crap. Jump out of the car. Get the dogs back out. Give Bilbo water, maybe he is too hot, I thought. Use TP from the Jiffie John to try and clean up mess since we have nothing to use besides the clothes we brought. Get back in car. Drive through Woodland Park to bank, needed to deposit check. Didn't make it to the bank before Bilbo pukes up the gallon of water he just drank everywhere. Step on the gas - haul butt to park the car. Throw not only the dogs, but everything out of the car. I walk 5 minutes to City Market for paper towels and fabric cleaner. Dog beds, ruined. Everything slimed. Clean up mess as best you can. Throw everything back in the car - including the dogs. Finally go through bank. Stop at Wendys for a combo meal since neither of us had eaten since 8:00 a.m. Car now smells like processed dog food, grease, B-O, fishy dog breath, dirt and now, french fries. Finally on the road. Time: 4:00 p.m.

Stuck on road behind 10,000 campers and slow poke drivers, but still made decent time. Got into Montrose 7:45 p.m. Its gonna be ok. Dogs haven't puked, we are good. Check into hotel room. Let the dogs through the door. Bilbo pisses on the bed within 5 seconds! Yes, our bed, the one we are sleeping on. Raya snaps and snarls at Bilbo for whatever reason. Yell at Bilbo, yell at Raya. Armond hits foot on door trying to kick Bilbo in the butt. Makes him even madder. Dogs consumed 10 gallons of water at room. Coors Light needed consumed at that moment - Kari = 1, Armond = 2. Armond finally gets to take a shower. Time: 8:30 p.m. I sit in the room thinking of how I still want to be social and go see people. All I want to do is consume more alcohol and call it a day. What are we going to do with the dogs? Oh well. Armond done with shower. Drain is broken. In shower, fighting with the drain and his phone rings. Its his mom..."Where are you guys?" Sigh. Hurry and get ready and on our way - Time: 9:00 p.m. Visit, good night, Bilbo breaks off of his leash and chases a cat down the side walk, Raya barks at the neighbor 6 times, but otherwise uneventful. Exhausted. Go to bed. We thought it would make Bilbo feel better if he slept in the bed with us, since their beds smelled to high heaven, which didn't phase Raya, but Bilbo gave the look of "what foul creature would ruin my dog bed with such stench?"....hmm... that would be YOU butthead! Just drifting off to sleep. Bilbo barks at some noise in the hallway. BILBO NO! ugh. Jumps off the bed, manages to barks once or twice every 1-2 hours. Time taken to fall back asleep - Armond=30 secs-5 min Kari=30 min to an hour. Just in time for Bilbo to bark again.

Day Two:

So tired. Is this trip over yet. Oh its only our first real day here. Up at 6:30 a.m. to the sound of dogs whining. Ignored unitl 7:00 a.m. Took Raya out. Armond followed with Bilbo. Ate at the breakfast buffet at the hotel, consumed some funny tasting sausage gravy and biscuits and egg beater scrambled eggs. But satisfied, I suppose. Took the dogs for a walk. We forgot Bilbo's "no pull harness" - big mistake. Raya needs one too! Yelled at Raya and Bilbo 59 times to stop pulling. Biceps sore from yanking them back ... continuously for 30 minutes. Back to room. Showered. Alarm clock goes off. Time for us to wake up! Visited friends, decent morning. Yelled at Raya 27 times to stop barking (in the car) at strangers causing no one any harm. She even manages to bark at the car pulling in behind you at the drive through of Dairy Queen. Really? The car is not going to hurt you. Sigh.

Go to Armond's moms house. Bilbo pisses on their wall, just lifts the old leg and decides here is a nice spot. He says, "I am a wild beast and I will pee wherever I choose!" Manners, mmpff I'm a dog and I am not house trained - at least not this weekend. What is happening? Decided to go to a wedding reception that Armond was invited to by a groomsman, not the groom, but went anyway. Gone for 2 hours. Decided to leave the dogs at his moms house. Come back, dogs are inside the house. Okay. Hope Bilbo didn't pee everywhere. But wait, what is this I see? Cardboard box pieces strung everywhere. Why is their back door curtain laying on the couch? Where is your mom and Steve? Look to the left. Gasp at air as I realize Raya had broken and narled 3 sets - NO not ONE - 3 sets of mini blinds in their dining room. Beyond hope. Ruined. Papers scattered everywhere from on the kitchen table. Wondering what the hell is happening to us and why we are being punished for our wild animals, whom we show nothing but love and attention to? Question still remains unanswered.

Leave their house at 8:45 and wonder how we can sneak away for 10 minutes to get some food...or some strong liquor to drown our sorrow. Throughout the day Armond's Coors Light count= 25 (not really, but lost track) Kari's Coors Light count = 2, but wishing she could have 5 more. Finally decide that we would try taking the dogs with us to get some food - avoid hotel room natural disasters - maybe get some real food to go, since we have eaten fast food the last 2 days and wanted something more fulfilling not just filling. Managed to be pulled and used and ridiculed by our fabulously leash trained dogs to a nice little Mexican restaurant. They have a patio! Maybe if we beg and plead they will let us sit out there! They gave in, since no one was out there. Sitting outside trying to eat food while attached to two wild animals is difficult. But the looking at the poor waitresses frightened face was priceless. She handed our food and drinks to us from 4 feet away I think I actually got up to get the food out of her hands. She managed to stand clear of the table at least 8 feet while taking our order or seeing if our food was ok - as Bilbo smiling at her only caused her eyes to become the size of saucers. So we ate, proceeded to scare the living hell out the waitress, Raya growled and barked and freaked out at every single person she saw, or the few that happened to either shut a car door, laugh in the distance, or even drive by. Yelled at her each and every time. My nerves are shot and I decided that they will both be up for adoption when we get home.

Dear God, please allow Day 3 to be better. I promise I will be good and won't kill my dogs this evening if only you make it easier on us.

Amen.

sigh...

2009-08-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

its been awhile...

2009-08-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile, since JUNE! But here I am. Don't fret.

Currently, me and my husband our two dogs and a cat are looking for a new house.

Not just a house. The perfect house. You know the one, cheap, big, huge yard, right location, etc. I realize they don't really exist, but we are searching like bloodhounds for a victim. I am keeping my fingers crossed that there will be a gem out there, but as for right now, all the ones I've seen are big piles of work that need done and just pricey enough that you can't fix anything once you move in, in otherwords, not for us.

But through this journey I have been on, I'm realizing lots about things about myself that maybe I knew before, but haven't really thought about lately:
1.) I'm poor.
2.) I'm picky.
3.) I'm no good at looking at something and figuring out if its quality or not.
4.) I'm no good at making a decision.
5.) I get frustrated quickly.
6.) I'm still poor, oh, and picky!

Wish me luck, maybe I can be picky poor and still find something nice, what do you think?

June Days

2009-06-14T12:11:00.001-07:00

Friday June 12th....

My friend Mark's Graduation Party...only 11 years! ;) Those are his mother's words, not mine.

Opening of art gallery across alley...

Saturday, June 13th...

Rockies game...

Where we parked.... scary!!!

See the bum's feet? I had to take another pic of my truck just to prove where we parked in case something bad happened, I would have proof that it was there! This is how umm... uncomfy I felt about it, ha!

We headed towards the stadium...

We hung out at Jackson's across from the park in a roof top bar and people watched...

It (of course) had a rain delay...thanks Colorado for the moisture, I'm over it now!

Me and Armond doing our thing...

Ambience of night lights...ooo...aaahh!

Oh! and we won!

what?

2009-06-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

I was looking through Amazon at the up coming music coming out, for example I was seeing when the Black Eyed Peas album comes out, which comes out next Tuesday, June 9th. If you would like to pre-order it, you can... or you can also buy it used. What?

Lemur me this...... (like, humor me this? get it?)

2009-05-20T14:14:00.000-07:00

I was just surfing the web (because I am so busy at work) and on Google as their main story and website they have a National Geographic article regarding the "Missing Link" to humans. Prior to the monkeys and apes the missing puzzle piece is lemurs.

They found a 47 million year old fossil recently in Germany, let me say this again for emphasis 47 MILLION YEARS OLD!!!!!! Really? Well, Okay then.

Well, here is what this fossil looks like in all its 47 million years of glory:

What does a lemur look like again, I seem to have forgotten....like this:

Well, Okay then.

Saying, that the lemur is the "missing link" would mean that this little family of 3 would have been me and my parents 47 MILLION YEARS AGO! Hmmmm...... I guess that makes my dad the tall one in the back.

Its hard for me to imagine. Sorry. I realize nature evolves and changes, so I'm trying, but its just not working for me.

Although, I must admit, our family is kinda cute. ;-)

Let the music play...country for a day

2009-05-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

On May 15th me and my husband, Armond went to see Ryan Bingham at the Blacksheep here in Colorado Springs.

I don't particularly remember how we found out about this guy, I think through Itunes or Artist Direct one of the two. We purchased his 2007 album Mescalito and fell in love with it immediately.

He has this raspy-old-whiskey-drinking-cigarette-smoking country voice and for whatever weird reason I also enjoy this type of music. To me it always sounds like hard times and bitter memories and yet gratitude for what life throws your way and the overcoming of those burdens. But heres the thing....he is only 26 years old. But he comes from a broken family and a life on the road. Who says that a 26 year old or a 28 year old for that matter (me!) can have deep feelings on life and all it has to offer.

For all the non-country lovers, its okay I won't hold it against you, but this is a different kind of country, yes heavy and drawn out but not the pop and cheese of radio country. This brings back the country of the 70s and the rebel rattlesnake dirty country that makes me think of the South.

Unfortunately, there was only a handlful of people there to see him that night. But it made it personal. Armond did a shot with the lead singer, thanks to a few crazy guys that bought one too many shots and I gave him a hug and told him that the next time he comes to Colorado Springs, the place would be much fuller because he deserves it.

Sometimes you just need to sit back and reflect on the simple things in life and appreciate everything you have and feel like the world isn't so far out there that you can't stick to your roots and feel alive. This is what this concert did for me and I hope that if anyone reads this blog and you happen to appreciate all types of music. You give him a listen and listen good because I feel that he does in fact deserve it. Let the music play. They are streaming his new album at on his labels website which will be out June 2. I'm there.

new thing is a good thing

2009-05-11T15:16:00.001-07:00

So, I have finally got a website up and running. I didn't say finished, but its a start. The process took me FOREVER and I still feel like I have no clue what I am doing. But as long as you type in the web address and something besides, "under construction" comes up - I am a happy camper - and guess what....it worked. After probably 3 weeks off and on and probably 17 hours of me wanting to throw my computer out the window, I figured it out. The weird thing is I have no idea what I did...haha. I messed and played and tried again and again and finally something worked. So now, here is to having my own webpage....woo hoo.

If you are interested..... www.artsyphartsydesign.com

Again, it is not complete yet, but it will give you an idea of what I am going for.

Most of the images are ones you may have already seen and I need to add a bunch more and put it in a more workable format, but what the hey! I am just sitting back and smiling because something I finally did worked. Hooray for websites!

my favorite wedding picture I've taken so far....

2009-04-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

My country tis of thee.....

2009-04-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

:) Its a shot that would make a nation proud, well, at least I am.

Tucson

2009-04-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

Albuquerque

2009-04-17T13:16:00.000-07:00

Barcelona on my mind....

2009-03-13T12:25:00.001-07:00

I am finally posting pictures from our trip to Barcelona, Spain. What a magnificent time! Although Barcelona is best enjoyed in the warmer months since it is on the Mediterranean, it was a treat to be able to go in February and break up the monotinous winter.

It is so hard to decide which pictures to post when you have over 1000 pictures to choose from!!! Here are some....